Don and Lupe
18 Years ago, Lupe moved from Guadalajara to Peurto Vallarta, Mexico. She loves the ocean and sailing so she decided to move near the ocean and her sail boat. Lupe has a passion for photography and posts her nicest photos on her facebook page. Don is a professional photographer and he liked her photo and decided to check out Lupe’s profile. Don thought she looked like an incredible person and someone he would like to know and he sent her a message. He wasn’t looking for anything romantic–he just wanted to let her know that he liked her photographs. Don didn’t even think he would get a replay. Lupe answered and was very polite. After a little hesitation on Lupe’s part, they started a conversation about the photos. Nothing too serious was discussed at first and they found they had a lot of common interests. Then one day she asked him where he lived, he said “Germany.” Lupe says, “What would happen if I knocked on the door right now?” and Don replied, “We’d go for coffee.” They messaged each other back and forth for about a year. Her daughter invited her to Paris for her birthday and who wouldn’t say yes to that. Lupe asked Don if he would like to meet up in Paris. It was just a three hour train ride for Don so he said “Let’s do it.” Before they met, Don asked Lupe if she was married. Lupe jokingly told him she was married to a guy in the cartel who was in prison to see if she could get a reaction from him. Don bought it for ten seconds before he realized she was pulling his leg. A few months later they met in Paris.
Don had suggested they meet in the train station in Paris–what could be more romantic? He got off the train and Lupe wasn’t there—he looked all around and she was no where to be found. He thought I’ve been stood up but I have a couple of days in Paris to enjoy. Walking into the train station he saw her hiding behind a column. Lupe was nervous and second guessing her decision to meet this stranger. As an architect and designer, how a man presents himself is important to Lupe. Don was tall and very stylishly dressed, had a beautiful bag and he had brought his cameras. Lupe decided she would show her face and said “Hi, I’m Lupe.” With the exception of a few months, they’ve basically been together ever since.
Don came to Mexico in late summer and this four-week visit was life changing–he was convinced that Lupe was the person he wanted to be with and Don decided he was moving to Mexico. Don went back to Germany, sold his home, shut down his business and said goodbye to his whole life and by December he was living in Mexico. At first, his family was reluctant but then they were supportive. His mother, who’s German was trying to understand this move and asked Don, “What’s Mexico like?” Don replied, “It is the opposite of Germany.” His family couldn’t understand why he would move to Mexico to be with a woman. He said, “when you know something is for sure you need to act on it and this is what I need and what I want.”
Lupe commented, “We both knew in Paris.” They both love art and museums and while in Paris they dedicated one day for museums, one day to photograph walls and one day to photograph doors. “How many people would like to do that with you?”
Lupe commented that they are so much alike. When they were unpacking Don’s things she realized they had very similar taste and it was like she was unpacking her own items–they even had some of the same things.
They are so in love and adore each other and it’s obvious to everyone around them.
There has never been a formal proposal–they both “just kind of knew.” They had planned a big party with over 100 people and then covid came and they are just waiting for it to be safe for people to come and they will reschedule. They were also under a lot of stress as Lupe owns a hotel and during covid the business was shut down. Her hotel business has since recovered and they will begin planning the ceremony again.
Lupe’s advice is to follow your heart. Lupe had been divorced for almost ten years and Don was divorced as well when they began conversing on facebook. Lupe was very happy by herself and was not looking for a relationship. “We started up the conversation as friends and as such there was no pressure to impress each other because you wanted to be together.” Their relationship was very casual and after awhile Lupe thought to herself, “Don is a very nice guy. It was an amazing surprise that I found him.”
Don said it took him a long time to learn two basic things. Firstly, just live your life. When Don turned 60 he decided he wasn’t going to look for anyone in his life. He didn’t have anyone in his life at the time and decided that if he never was in another serious relationship he would be okay with that. He wasn’t looking for anyone and it just happened. Don says, “If you are looking for someone, stop! Just live your life and let it happen. You have to be comfortable with yourself first before you can be comfortable with someone else anyway.”
Secondly, Don has learned that if you do find someone and you are in a committed relationship, you have to realize that relationships are hard and you have to work at them. “When you get over the honeymoon period of it, you have to work at it if you really want it to work. You have to stick out.” They both agreed things are never going to go perfectly. Don says, “We have become so used to the idea that if it doesn’t work, you just throw it away and go onto the next. You can’t just dispose of people the way you dispose of stuff. Obviously there are some relationships that aren’t going to work. However, if you really love each other most of the time you can work things out, even if you need to involve a third party like a counsellor.”
Don and Lupe were very secure with who they were as individuals. Even with that sense of security, they still had to be open to change—Don lived in Germany and moved to Mexico. He had gotten to the point in his life where he thought “Why not.” Don kept an open mind–previously he had lived his life thinking he wasn’t going to make big changes and then a few years ago he changed his perspective and it was one of the best decisions in his whole life. When he left Germany there was a little snow on the ground and he had to catch a couple of trains to the airport and he came here and it was a tropical paradise. He feels blessed to be here with Lupe and every morning they wake up and say how happy they are.
Broadcast Love wishes Don and Lupe many years of romantic adventures together.