Steve spotted Jen standing by a bike rack on the UC Davis campus and the first thing Steve noticed was Jen’s nice legs. Turned out they had several mutual friends. Jen noticed him but they didn’t really have much of a chance to get to know one another and Steve had a girlfriend so he wasn’t on Jen’s radar. Steve to study in Italy for a semester and while he was gone Jen got to know more of his friends as they were all biology majors and took most of their classes together.
Steve returned in senior year and before they dated, Jen remembers telling her girlfriends,
Jen was head over heels before they even dated. They started to spend more time together and in February of their senior year, they went swing dancing with a group of friends–their official first date. It wasn’t long before they started to spend all their time together. Prior to meeting Steve, Jen had been focused on getting high marks–Steve was a distraction and Jen received her first B.
Even though they hadn’t been dating that long–only four or five months, they decided that where ever they went next, they would go together. Jen and Steve knew this relationship was for the long haul. Jen was planning on nursing school and Steve law school. By summer, they met each other’s families and it was a natural fit. Even their friends around them knew they would get married.
They ended up in Baltimore and Northern Virginia–only an hour apart from one another and commuted every weekend. When Jen graduated she moved to Virginia and after their engagement they bought a house and moved in together.
Steve used all of his savings as a summer associate at a law firm and bought a ring from a local jewelery boutique in Virginia. He held onto it until he could ask Jen’s parents in person for their blessing. Around New Years, he had the chance to ask Jen’s parents–he knew his dad was going to make him sweat a little bit. He had been given a big mallet from Jen’s sister as a joke to be used against spiders which he hates. Jen’s father wielded the mallet back and forth in his hand for dramatic affect while Steve asked but in the end both mom and dad gave their approval.
Jen’s parents live on the San Juan Islands and there is a hike to the top of the island and Steve had planned to ask Jen at the top of the mountain. However, Jen was sick and Steve had to postpone the plans for a day. Meanwhile, Jen’s mom had told her family and they were calling during the day to see if Jen had said yes making it difficult to keep the plan a secret. Steve managed and the next day at the top he got down on one knee and proposed.
A year later, they got married in Long Beach where Jen had grown up. They were able to have their reception at the same place where Jen’s parents held their reception thirty years earlier.
Steve wouldn’t say they are opposites because many of their values are the same but at the same time they have different strengths and weaknesses. They make a good team and their skills complement one another.
Jen says appreciating the differences in each other is important. Steve’s more relaxed about parenting and Jen is okay with that because it provides balance. Steve appreciates Jen’s organizational skills and her ability to manage the house and home and get everything done.
Broadcast Love wishes you many more years of happiness and joy.
Carol and Dave attended the same university and in 1985 they both attended a campus party. Carol saw Dave and said to him, “My best friend’s having a party next week, why don’t you come and bring some friends?” and Dave did. At Carol’s best friend’s party she walked up and offered him some “crisps” aka potato chips. Then she offered to show him a picture of her with long hair. He was smitten. Dave asked Carol if she would like to go for a drink sometime and Carol said Yes, let’s go next week and Dave said, No, I was thinking this week. He was very keen. Their first date was at the Shoulder of Mutton Pub. Not hard to guess where this couple is from.
There were several indications that Dave was smitten with Carol. Dave would come to Carol’s house and wait while she finished getting ready and Carol and her roommates would offer him tea. Dave didn’t tell Carol for months that he didn’t like tea because he didn’t want to be rude. Carol moved to Florida in the States to work at Disney World for six months and Dave came to visit her and brought the four friends who came to the initial party with him.
Carol jokes that Dave still doesn’t know if she’s the girl for him. The truth is Carol and Dave both agreed it was pretty much love at first site. They were only 19 but at some point within the first two to three months they both knew they would be together.
About five years into our relationship, Dave remembers asking her dad for his blessing to marry Carol. Dave was nervous but he said yes and from that point on the parents started planning the wedding.
Dave says Carol would say that over that length of time–five years, that they just arrived at the conclusion that they were getting married. Dave disputes this and claims he did ask her and they planned a romantic getaway in beautiful Chester, England–one of the best-preserved medieval cities in Britain. Carol chose her ring in Chester, making it official.
Dave says that communication is what makes them work and that you need to find things that you like to do as a couple and do them as often as possible. Dave and Carol go for walks almost every evening. They also enjoy travelling together.
Carol says you have to have fun together. You need to think of the bigger picture–remembering when your head’s down and your kids are driving you mad, you’ve always got each other and you have to invest in that relationship.
Carol and Dave, Broadcast Love wishes you many more decades of fun adventures together.
Susanne and Gordon met in 1999 after Susanne moved from Germany to Charleston, South Carolina in the United States. Gordon had just come back from a bad knee injury. They were partnered up to perform the Snow Pas de Deux in Nutcracker. Susanne had come from a large company and in her words was quite arrogant. She didn’t like him at all at the beginning and complained quite a bit about his performance. One night they were standing in the wings and he turned to her and said,
Something happened in that moment and Gordon’s comment took all her nervousness away. They did their best performance because they weren’t fighting each other anymore–they performed as a couple.
When Gordon was a young boy, his mother gave him a notebook. In the notebook, he wrote down everything he ever wanted. Susanne was in that book–he had written that he wanted to marry a European, blue-eyed, blonde-haired dancer, with an accent, preferably from Berlin, Germany. Gordon apparently believed in manifesting before it became a thing.
When Susanne wasn’t spending time with him everyday and surrounded by his energy, she realized how much she missed him. They had a break after the Nutcracker performances and Susanne could not put her finger on what she was feeling–she had this knowing that he was the one for her and she was in Charleston to meet Gordon. Susanne really fought these feelings because this was not her plan. She was engaged at the time to another man–she had moved from Germany to Charleston to be with her fiance. The engagement broke off a couple of months later–Gordon and Susanne moved in together in March.
Seven years prior to us meeting, Gordon had auditioned at the company Susanne was a part of in Berlin. They never let him in the door because he didn’t have an appointment. So they would have met seven years earlier had he been allowed to audition.
In the summer of the year they met, they moved to Portland, Oregon. When they drove to Portland from Charleston, they stopped in Las Vegas and he took Susanne to Tiffany’s to “just look at rings.” The one she liked appeared out of his pocket on a rainy day in stall 13 in a parking lot in Portland on November 29 and it was beautiful. It was after rehearsal and they had given Susanne a really hard time that day and it was Gordon’s way of just letting her know that she was loved. They were married that summer in Charleston in a beautiful church.
After Charleston, they spent about six months in Sydney, Australia. Susanne didn’t feel comfortable there and the immigration laws were very restrictive. They moved back to Germany when she was six months pregnant and lived in her mom’s basement until they found a place of their own a few weeks later in Berlin. Their first son was born in July on the night of a full moon.
By the time Susanne was thirteen, she knew Germany wasn’t the right place for her. They had travelled to visit Gordon’s parents in Victoria, British Columbia Canada a couple of times. Susanne wanted her children to have a loving set of grandparents and her mother couldn’t provide that. They packed up and moved within two months of their son’s birth and lived with Gordon’s parents for six months before finding their own place in Victoria.
Without hesitation, Susanne says, it’s Gordon’s love that has made them successful. She knows that she is the most important thing in his world and there is nothing he wouldn’t do for her. If Susanne just mentions that she doesn’t want to do something, she doesn’t even finish the sentence and he’s doing it.
They got married in their twenties and now they are in their forties and they’ve been through many things together. They went through loosing everything–all their investments in the States after building their dream ballet company. In hindsight they gave up too quickly. Ballet was Susanne’s first love. That love diminished with everything that was put on them to become a dancer and in her late twenties the pain was worse than her love of dance. It wasn’t fun anymore. They went through giving up their ballet careers together. They have raised three boys together. Through these life experiences they have changed–they are different people with different expectations.
Susanne did not grow up in a house where they ever used the words, “I love you.” She never heard it from her mother growing up. When she married Gordon she was surrounded by love 24/7. After 15 or so years she started pushing it away–old habits started to seep in and she started to not believe Gordon’s feelings. She had to really work on that and stop resisting the love he was offering and let him in. Susanne’s advice,
It may feel different because you aren’t used to saying it, but let your ego go and explore what’s on the other side of these words.
Broadcast Love wishes you many more years of happiness and joy and adventures in this dance called love.
Michael was visiting a friend of his at Cambridge University in England and they decided to attend a formal ball at Oxford in 1998. Before it became common place to date online, there was Yahoo! Personals and this is where this couple met initially. The ball was their first ever in-person meeting about four months after they had met on-line. Michael was a former Captain in the Royal Marines and wore his uniform to the ball–mainly because he didn’t have money for a tuxedo. It was a brown serge with a red beret and sash. She was a recent newcomer to Britain as a Rhode Scholar studying at Oxford and thought he was a drum major. Susan wore a black cocktail dress and long gloves and Michael was smitten.
A month later she went back to Boston and Michael thought this would be the end of it. Three months later he found himself in Boston working at Chez Robert–he was a troubleshooter/consultant for French chefs on the east coast of the United States. Their first formal date outside their meeting at Oxford was at The Federalist in Boston. She told him she was a vegetarian and asked him to order for them. He had the duck and Susan ordered the lobster. Susan ate off his plate all night. She would like to be vegetarian but struggles.
After the second day they met in Boston, he knew she was the one. They continued this long distance relationship with Michael spending about $1000 per month on phone bills. When he proposed six months later, he realized she was the one he wanted to talk to for the rest of his life.
Susan was finishing her Phd in Boston and he was in Dallas where he was living for the time being. She called at midnight to say she had finished work for the night on her dissertation–she left her wallet at home and had no money and was hungry and it was an hour long walk home. Long before the internet, Michael, using 555-1212 (directory assistance) managed to get her a pizza at 1:30 am and a cab for to take her home. That’s true love.
Michael moved from Boston to Los Angeles where Susan’s parents’ lived. He had taken a position at the Bacara Resort in Santa Barbara. Michael was at their home and telling them of his proposal plans.
However, this posed a problem at airport security and it had to be torn out and was very hard to explain. Typically, Michael travels very light with just a backpack. In addition to the ring sewn in his pants, his Korean mother-in-law had given him an enormous jar of kimchi and a huge bag of rice to take on the plane for Susan. It’s a wonder he isn’t still in the back room at airport security.
Susan and Michael went back to the Federalist where they had had their first official date. This time Susan ordered a steak and he proposed–nine months after their first meeting at the ball. They were married a year later. He proposed in January, her defense was in May and she was to come to Los Angeles in July.
They were planning to get married at the Ritz-Carlton Bacara Resort in Santa Barbara where Michael was currently working. However, he took a new position in San Fransisco and plans changed. Susan took a position as an adjunct professor at Stanford University in Palo Alto and that’s where they lived. They got married August 11, 2001 at the Presidio Officer’s Club in San Fransisco–they were the first ever civilian wedding held there.
There were 120 guests and Michael catered all the food. It was a combination of a buffet and sit down and it was very guest centric–so they spent their time with their guests and only ate some nibbles. They didn’t get to sit down much during the evening. Susan had three dress changes–her wedding dress–a vintage sweetheart dress bought on ebay–the shipping and tailoring was more than the cost of the dress. Michael is Chinese and she wore the traditional Chinese wedding dress that had been passed down through his family. Finally, she had a Korean dress that was so voluminous Susan had trouble fitting in the back of the car. Michael’s job–since he didn’t have to change his clothes, was to pack up some food so they could have some at the end of the evening in their room. Michael forgot. To this day, Susan reminds him that she never got to try the food at her wedding.
Michael’s secret is you can’t win every argument. Although his wife is always right. Susan is in the Department of Rhetoric–the the art of effective or persuasive speaking or writing. Obviously, he looses every argument. Being more of an economist, he gets deconstructed point by point. Michael can run the cost benefit analysis and it’s better to gracefully walk away.
A sense of humour is also very important. He wrote an app on the phone and asked his wife to tap a button whenever she had a contraction and it would show a decreasing trend on a graph and provide a projection as to when their son, Ian would be born. Michael asked Susan while she was in a tub having contractions. It wasn’t well received. He offered to press the button for her. Michael kept the data and now they can laugh about it.
Erik and Ellen met at Camp Tawonga summer camp in California. Ellen had worked there in previous summers and came to visit some friends. It was Erik’s first year at the camp, having just moved from Michigan. It was the summer after college and Ellen had a job in food service in San Diego–she had a challenging night and decided that she would quit and took a job for the last session of camp.
There was an opening for a lifeguard position and Erik who was a supervisor went to the Director, and suggested that she should hire Ellen for the lifeguard position not just because she was qualified but also because the Director likened herself a bit of matchmaker and he told her that he really liked Ellen. However, one of the employees wasn’t working out as a counsellor and they were going to move him to the lifeguard position instead. Erik agreed to supervise the counsellor if she would just hire Ellen. As they say, the rest is history.
Their first year together was a lot of back and forth between San Diego where Ellen lived and the Bay area where Erik lived. The second year they dated Ellen moved to Eugene, Oregon for grad school. After this second year of long distance, Erik moved to Eugene to be with Ellen.
Both Erik and Ellen knew very quickly. Erik remembers talking to his sister after the first two weeks having met Ellen and she said to him, I think you’re going to marry her. Erik told Ellen this after only knowing her a couple of weeks. Ellen was blown away and the fact that he could even say the “m” word–she had never had a relationship on that level before. She knew it was something special and deeper. Ellen says she knew on some level that he was the one right then but it was too soon to even admit it to herself but in hindsight she knew. They spent a lot of time together over the three week camp session and by the end they knew they would remain in contact and would visit each other regularly. We had already established we were in it for the long haul. Three and a half years later he popped the question while still in Oregon and they were there for 17 years. They were married five years after they met.
The first two years of their relationship were long distance and they learned to communicate with each other–how to talk and just as important how to listen to one another. They talked everyday on the phone only seeing each other every three or four weeks. Once they had children they made a conscious effort to make time for themselves. The very year their first son was born, they went on a holiday and had Erik’s sister look after their son.
Investing in themselves individually is also important as they each have unique needs and that’s part of a healthy relationship.
Things have come full circle now and their two boys now attend the camp where they met. Ellen and Erik are still very connected to the camp and having a long standing community that they have connected with over the years has been a source of strength in their relationship and family life.
Broadcast Love wishes Erik and Ellen many more years of love and laughter together.
Dusty and Laylee met in high school at the Maxwell International Baha’i School where they attended Grades Eleven and Twelve together. Dusty had taken a year off school to travel to Manawatu with his Aunt and Uncle who worked for CUSO (Canadian University Services Overseas), his uncle was the doctor at the local hospital. Many of the island population are of the Baha’i faith and when Dusty returned to Canada he decided he wanted to attend the Maxwell School. He was in Grade 11 and Laylee was in Grade 12 so they only spent one year together at the school speaking maybe five words to each other. However, they had a moment that they both remember. They passed each other as they crossed the campus through a breezeway, their eyes locked and there was a connection–a feeling that put their hearts in motion.
Following graduation they were both living in Victoria and had a similar group of friends, centred around their faith. It was clear they liked each other and spent more and more of their time together. One of the ordinances of their faith is to investigate each other’s character before marriage. A further rule is not to be intimate until marriage and they were committed to abiding by their faith. Laylee was 19 at the time, attending university and wasn’t interested in getting married. Her parents sat her down and asked, “Are you interested in dating Dusty for the purpose of getting married? You can’t just have a boyfriend for the sake of having a boyfriend.” Dusty had told her he was ready to get married and Laylee had to break the news to him that she was not ready. Dusty was heart broken but understood and at the same time understood. They remained friends for another 2-3 years.
Laylee graduated and went on to law school. Dusty was taking early childhood education and running children’s courses related to the Baha’i Faith. He decided to do a year of service before completing his degree. Dusty returned to Manawatu to do a year of service where he helped set up classes for the children of the village. He was there for 7 months and fully immersed in this task, and completely incognito from his friends in Victoria. Dusty returned in January to Vancouver where his parents lived. When he came to visit his friends on Vancouver Island in the Spring, he brought with him his new girl friend to introduce to his friends and family. Laylee suddenly realized that he wasn’t necessarily going to wait for her to be ready–she had always thought he would. Shortly after this visit, Laylee called Dusty and asked him for lunch. At the end of their lunch, the bill was delivered and she knew she had to tell him how she felt. Laylee went into the washroom, looked in the mirror and gave herself a pep talk and said you have to tell him how you feel. Laylee went back to the table and poured her heart out to Dusty telling him she loved him and she wanted to be with him. Dusty isn’t good at hiding his emotions and she could tell that the reaction was positive which encouraged her to keep going. He just kept saying, Are you sure? repeatedly. She was frustrated by this and said, I’m so sure, that if you asked me to marry me right now I would say yes. Over the years, they have had many discussions as to whether this was Laylee’s proposal to Dusty. He says it was and Laylee claims that this was “an invitation to treat”–a legal term meaning an indication that someone is prepared to receive offers with the view of forming a binding contract. I agree with Laylee. What do you think–proposal or “an invitation to treat”?
Two weeks later, Dusty was helping Laylee move into a basement suite and they had a discussion about marriage and decided they would like to get married. There was no down on one knee or formal proposal.
Their faith has two requirements for marriage, the first being the consent of both parents. Once Dusty’s mom got over the shock–she was concerned it was so quick, consent was given. The second requirement is that you have 95 days to get married after your engagement.
They were married in August–two and a half months later with over 300 people attending. Laylee’s parents were the main organizers and there wasn’t just the wedding to organize–there were dinners for 100 people every night prior to the wedding for all the family from out of town. Laylee jokes that is was her Big Fat Persian Wedding. Dusty showed up 45 minutes late for the ceremony because he lost track of time while writing his speech. Dusty would like to apologize to anyone who attended their wedding and had to sit outside in the hottest day of the year. Overall it was a wonderful wedding and even included a dance routine to a Ricky Martin song.
Both Dusty and Laylee agree that humour is important in their relationship. You have to be able to make each other laugh and not take yourself too seriously. For Laylee, she feels the happiest when they are doing something together in the community that is meaningful and based on spiritual qualities. For example, they have devotional gatherings in their home with people from all walks of life where they discuss specific topics and people share music and poetry. There is always the reality of day to day tasks and tough times but it is better for them when they can focus on something larger than themselves. Laylee feels respectful communication is a key to their relationship. Not everyone has the same communication style and she has learned to step back when she is angry and to realize the affect of their words on one another. Laylee’s style is to deal with things right away, while Dusty needs time to process issues. Laylee has learned not to press Dusty but to wait a bit and give him time.
Dusty added that in their faith, when you come together in marriage it is likened to two bodies of water coming together–separate but together. He believes that your relationship with the Creator, as an individual, must be strong in order for you adapt to the changes as you grow as a couple.
Broadcast Love wishes Dusty and Laylee many more years of happiness and love together.
They met in 1963 on the campus on University of California, Berkeley. They were there during the free speech movement. Ian was getting his doctorate in engineering and Donna was getting a masters degree.
Donna was coming out of Tolman Hall (which has unfortunately been torn down) and they were fixing the sidewalks and things were a little wonky–you had to travel through a maze to get out. A young man was sitting with his friends and saw this attractive, bodacious (Ian’s words) woman walking and he overcame his shyness as something compelled him to start a conversation with her. He came up beside Donna and said, “This is quite an obstacle course isn’t it.?” Donna thought that was his most profound line because they have now been together for over 55 years. At times it’s been an obstacle course but it’s always been steered with love. Donna believes there was a master plan that put the two of them together and gave Ian the courage to come speak with her.
Both of them say they weren’t together long before they just knew–maybe six months. Donna had an undergrad in English and History and she had made up her mind that engineers weren’t really for her. However, the engineer who walked her through the obstacle course was able to recite poetry by heart and this made her think he was a little different than the average engineer. Ian carries that poem with him–Walt Whitman’s, There Was A Child Went Forth. Ian feels that the poem inspired him to go forth and speak to a total stranger. When they reached their destination, Ian stopped to get coffee but not without first securing Donna’s phone number. Ian called the very next night and they went to a movie and just hit it off.
Ian had a job interview for the University of Pittsburgh and he was mulling the decision over. They were in the car together and he said, “I don’t want to go to Pittsburgh without you.” Donna replied, “Are you asking me what I think you are?” and in a squeaky voice, he responded, “Yes.” There was no ring as they were too poor. They had nothing but their love and each other. They bought wedding bands for the marriage and in 2005 in Sausilito, Donna got an engagement ring. They moved to Pittsburgh which was also a smart move for Donna. A chance meeting in an elevator with Mr. Rogers, and an offer of his help to do something together, launched Donna’s career in children’s entertainment.
They get asked for advice a fair bit and their first recommendation is “Don’t Give Up!” Times get tough, you take a step back and maybe walk away from each other for awhile. Donna never went home to her mother and Ian never packed up–they stuck it out. Ian recommended, “Before you consider quitting, try therapy for yourself or couples therapy.
Ian says they have a lot of common interests. Donna’s involved in children’s entertainment–and Ian learned about child development and lately they’ve had great conversations about how bad the news is in terms of negativity. They turn it off, sit in their kitchen and talk because right now the world is going through a tough time. Through these conversations they have each learned a significant amount about each other and what’s important to one another.
Ian’s and Donna’s newest love is their grandson and for them it’s a whole new level of love.
Broadcast Love wishes them all the best as they continue on this obstacle course called love.
I went to school with Tracey from Kindergarten to Grade 12 and was curious to know how she met Greg Currie. We grew up in a small town called Pilot Mound with a population of 700 people in southern Manitoba, Canada, in the heart of the prairies. Greg and Tracey lived a mere five miles apart. However, because they went to different schools, they didn’t have much contact til they were in high school. Back in the day, the two schools were rivals and the boys from one school didn’t show up at the other school or town uninvited. One of Tracey’s best friends, Mary Ellen, was Greg’s cousin and so they knew of each other through this connection. Greg, at 16, having seen Tracey was quite interested and was disappointed to hear she had a boyfriend. One day, a friend called him and said, “It’s over and Tracey is single.” Greg didn’t waste any time, he called her up on a party line and asked if she would attend his sister’s wedding the very next day. For those of you who don’t know what a party line is it involves sharing a phone line with several people who live near you–common in rural areas right up until the 90’s. Of course, people listened to one another’s conversations. Greg quipped, “It was as quick as facebook for sharing information.” On August 5, 1987, they went to the wedding together. The date went well and they have been together ever since.
Tracey said she knew pretty much right from the beginning that Greg was the one. Tracey had it in her mind that she wanted to marry someone and live in the country. They’ve been together since they were 16 and in essence, grew up together doing all the crazy teenage antics together and sharing the milestones of high school graduation and university.
Greg says that’s not true–if Tracey knew right away, she never let on to him. It was a month before high school started up in the fall when they started dating and Greg said to his friend, “This is a girl I could probably marry.” Greg says Tracey made him do a lot of work to make sure she knew he was the one. A month or two after they’d been dating, Greg asked Tracey, “So are we going steady?” She thought it was a pretty stupid question. “Of course they were.” Greg was from a tiny town, as in a population of 200, between the two rival schools, and so he was able to attend parties in both of the larger towns without concern. This expanded their social circle and they had lots of parties to attend.
Tracey and Greg have grown and changed over the years but their core values haven’t. They both grew up in families where family came first and their extended family has continued to support them over the years. Their upbringing has influenced the way they’ve raised their children and decisions have been made from a base of love and family.
Greg jokes that you might also want to check with your girlfriend to see how many kids they would like. He loves his wife and his wife loves children and so they have six. If there were disagreements about issues with the children, they tried not to discuss them in front of them–they were a united front.
Greg believes that your spouse has to be your priority and you have to look after your relationship first. Your relationship is the trunk of the tree and if your kids or career become the centre of your world, it weakens the trunk. You need a strong trunk to hold up the branches. They have made a concerted effort over the years, to take time for themselves as a couple with date nights and travel.
Tracey concluded, “If you can stay close as a couple, when things come up you can handle it. It’s all challenging stuff but worth it in the end.”
Broadcast Love wishes you many more adventurous years together full of love and grandchildren.
Roxy knew of Alec in high school and thought he was cute but he was five years older and when you’re in high school that’s a big age difference. Their paths crossed again when Roxy went to hair school with his younger sister. They didn’t cross paths again until they had both been through tough divorces and she saw him at church.
They are members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints and if you are single you go to the Singles Ward–the congregation of young single members. Not a lot of their friends were in Singles Ward–most of the members were people just leaving high school and it’s very different if you’ve been married before. Roxy had been asked out on dates but didn’t feel ready. However, when she saw Alec it was like a light and she was drawn to him.
Roxy, reached out to him on instagram and was very nervous because she hadn’t contacted any other guys before. She just made small talk and he responded and said let’s hang out. They went to a birthday party of one of Roxy’s friends, left early and ended up talking til 4 in the morning. As Alec explained, “When you’re dating after you’ve been divorced, it’s different. You are concerned about the bigger picture–goals, desires, and what do you want to do with your life.” The next day they went on their official first date for dinner. Alec is more spontaneous and less of a planner than Roxy and he didn’t plan the date but on a whim after dinner they went on scooters and then to a movie and they just hit it off.
They had dated for a year and a half and she kept expecting she would feel this sign that he’s the one. Then at Christmas Roxy went through a tough time and was feeling very low. Alec handled it so well. He explained, “That’s what true love is. If you’re at your lowest, it just makes me want to get closer to you and take care of you and make you feel better.”
When Roxy started feeling better she realized that she would be an idiot if she didn’t marry him. Alec had been ready to get married earlier and had already ordered a ring. Alec felt a connection right off the bat but he wanted to make sure it was real. A lot of things about Roxy’s personality were things that he didn’t know he needed until he met her and Roxy checked all the things off his list. He told her he loved her first and she didn’t say it back and one day on the phone he said, “I know you love me but you’re just not ready to say it and she replied, I was going to but you stole my moment.” He knew that day that she was the one.
Alec doesn’t plan things but he knew Roxy would be expecting something commemorative so he had some ideas. Her family was coming in from California and they were going on a hike and he was going to have his family waiting at the top of the mountain and have them hold up a large banner saying Roxy will you marry me in Spanish and it would be this big family thing. His sister in law was a photographer and she was going to take pictures. The day before the hike, Roxy told him, she wasn’t ready and she needed a little more time. Alec was upset because she had been looking at rings and designed the one they wanted and then suddenly she panicked and said she needed more time. Alec’s plan was postponed.
Then in January, they planned a ski trip to Utah and they were staying at his parent’s home. Down the street was an ice skating rink and he planned on fake falling down and then staying down on one knee. Then her family would hold up the sign. Shortly before they all went ice skating, Roxy’s mom told him that Roxy really wanted to do it at the ice castles down the street so he didn’t do it at the skating rink. It ended up that Roxy was disappointed because it was so romantic skating under the stars. The next day at the ice castles, he finally got to propose. Two of Roxy’s little nephews held the sign and were wondering around the castles. Alec wasn’t sure what was going to happen other than he had the ring in his pocket and when they ran into the nephews he would go down on one knee. There was a crowd and everyone was cheering and by chance the music started at the exact moment that he asked her. It was a surprise because Alec had convinced Roxy that he hadn’t ordered the ring yet.
Ten days before their wedding date, the state imposed restrictions on the size of gatherings–at first it was 100, then 60 and then ten days before their wedding no gatherings larger than ten were allowed. During this time, Alec was wanting to keep the wedding the same and then all of a sudden it was down to gatherings no larger than 10 and they had to start canceling things. Roxy had put her heart and soul into planning the wedding and spent more than they had wanted to–she was not handling the fact that everything had to be cancelled well. They couldn’t get a refund–the money was spent. They sat down with their parents and decided let’s just do it this weekend and all the immediate family can make it. Roxy’s sister was leaving for Oklahoma in a couple of days and this way they had the wedding before she left. It was decided they would have the wedding in two days in Alec’s parents’ backyard.
Unfortunately, there wasn’t a lot of food at the grocery store so they weren’t sure what to serve. Alec’s mom happened to have two frozen turkeys in her freezer. The decision was made–it would be Thanksgiving Dinner at the wedding. The florist donated flowers from other cancelled weddings because their flowers weren’t coming in for another week. Alec’s family had decorations from previous family weddings and they borrowed those. The sisters and sister-in-laws on both sides brought decorations. Roxy’s style is bohemian and luckily she had gone shopping for decorations and her sister’s home is decorated in a boho style and she was able to borrow some items from her. The day of their wedding, the two of them were out in the backyard decorating and they managed to pull it together. Alec had always wanted something small and intimate with just the immediate family and it ended up being just that. “We didn’t have to worry about being hosts–it was just family together celebrating our marriage.”
Alec wouldn’t have had it any other way. In his words, “Covid made us realize how little we needed on that day to make it special.” Roxy remarked “I don’t know why I spent so much time planning a big wedding when all we needed was our family and each other.” Will they host a party for friends later on? Maybe when they get married in the temple they will have a small party in someone’s backyard.
When asked what makes them work as a couple, they said, “For us it is hearing each other when we are disagreeing and being able to put ourselves in each other’s shoes.”
Alec and Roxy had some sage advice which was to go for counseling. People don’t need to be struggling to go for counseling. They have learned so much about one another. Counseling gave them the tools they needed to know in order to understand why they act certain ways because of their past and what they need from each other. As a result, their arguments are short and they can resolve them quickly–issues don’t become a big thing. When things come up, they know how to handle it.
Alec and Roxy, we wish you a long and happy
marriage full of fun and exciting adventures.
Meredith grew up in urban northern California. While her mom says she came to Alaska and never went home, Meredith says she came to Alaska and found home.
Meredith had visited a boyfriend in Alaska in February and they had a great time and she loved Alaska. They agreed she would move to Alaska for the summer and see if the relationship went anywhere. She got herself a summer job and headed north to Alaska. Two weeks before she was supposed to leave, he ghosted her. Meredith had already packed everything so she decided he wasn’t the only reason she was going to Alaska and she would go ahead with the adventure and at the end of the summer she would drive home if she didn’t like Alaska.
Meredith rented a dry cabin, as in no running water and an outhouse, in a ghost town 47 miles southeast of Downtown Anchorage. Portage was destroyed in the 1964 Alaska earthquake when the ground in the area sank about six feet, putting most of the town below high tide level. Her neighbour was Daniel. His ex-girlfriend was Meredith’s boss that summer so she avoided Daniel not wanting to create any dramas at work. Luckily the ex moved away. By the end of summer, Meredith had decided she was going to stay in Alaska and got a part time job in Anchorage. Meredith decided to stay in her cabin for the winter and Daniel and her became friends. Meredith was leery at first–she thought Daniel might be a hermit as he had lived in the cabin for 15 years and he was now single. He turned out to be very friendly and helpful–offering to share his new generator in January.
Meredith knew he was a good guy when he made homemade pasta for her mom while visiting and shoveled off the steps to the outhouse to make sure she didn’t slip. Her mom will say that’s when she knew he was the one. The turning point in the relationship happened when Meredith invited him to attend the official start of the Iditarod Dog Sled Race. This race is a famous long distance dog sled race run in early March from Anchorage to Nome. The Iditarod trail runs from Willow–80 miles north of Anchorage up the Rainy Pass of the Alaska Range into the sparsely populated interior, and then along the shore of the Bering Sea, finally reaching Nome in western Alaska. From this point forward their relationship changed. Daniel later confessed that he knew much earlier he wanted to date Meredith because he had to walk past her cabin to get to the outhouse and she had left her curtains open and he saw her walking around in her underwear.
Meredith and Daniel lived across from the Alaska Wildlife Conservation Center where Meredith worked part time. There was record snowfall that winter and the snow drifts were so high up the side of the electric fence, it was no longer a barrier as animals could jump over it. In April, while the park was clearing the snow on the inside of the fence the power was turned off, and Shaguyik, a 2 year old, 300 pound Kodiak bear jumped over the fence. The Conservation Park was being paid to manage two orphaned Kodiak bears for the Orsa Bear Park in Sweden. They were scheduled to be moved in June.
After a couple of months theWildlife Centre gave up trying to find the bear. In June, by chance it was on the day the other bear was being moved to Sweden, a bear showed up on the property where Meredith’s and Daniel’s cabin was located. Their landlord’s daughter taught horseback riding to children in the area and that’s what she was doing the day the bear arrived. They ushered the children inside and news spread fast around the property to bring your dogs and children inside because of the bear. This bear’s behaviour was a little different–it wasn’t running off the property, it was hanging around. The Wildlife Centre had been called and told there was a bear and did they want to come look at it. However, they didn’t believe it was their bear as it had been months since she had left and also they were focused on the presentation marking the departure of the other bear Meredith received a call from the Wildlife Centre about the bear and then called Daniel and told him there was a bear on the property. He was standing by the horse pen where their landlord’s extremely valuable show horse was panicking as the bear had come out of the woods and was about 30 feet in front of them. In Alaska you’re allowed to shoot wildlife in defense of life and property and Daniel shot the bear to protect the horse. You are required to turn in the hide with paws and claws attached to Alaska Fish and Game. Daniel was in the process of doing this when the Wildlife Centre came to look at the bear. Initially they didn’t think it was their bear but just to be sure they got a scanner and sure enough the bear had a chip in its neck. They were very upset as they had become emotionally attached to the bear and had raised it and named it–not to mention they lost a significant amount of money when the bear escaped. Their landlord was very thankful Daniel had saved his horse while the Wildlife Centre staff were extremely hostile toward Daniel. Meredith was angry that they were treating him this way because they had a chance to come and see the bear and decided not to. Daniel didn’t get angry with them and instead empathized, “I’m so sad that they’re so sad.” The fact that his response was one of compassion, made Meredith realize how much she loved him and that he was the “one.” Fish and Game did an investigation to ensure that it was a justified kill and determined that as soon as the bear left the Centre it was a wild bear and it was endangering livestock. However, Meredith left her part time job and her friends from the Centre returning only last year–seven years after the shooting of the bear.
Meredith is a planner and she was trying to figure out when the best time was to get married and when they would have to get engaged in order to make that happen. Daniel was not having that. They had talked about getting married and every time they went out somewhere special Meredith thought this would be the proposal. After about a year, Meredith realized she didn’t care if he proposed or not because she couldn’t imagine her life without him. She had already committed her heart to him. Three weeks later on the Summer Solstice he invited Meredith to go camping with him on Porcupine Island on Kenai Lake. Meredith really didn’t want to go but went anyway. They got to the island early in the morning, set up camp and he started cooking on the fire. Daniel, while standing there started talking about the live action Cinderella movie he had seen with his friends recently and how the movie made him think about who was important in his own life. It made him think about how hard it would be if he were to loose her and she’s not sure what else he said because at that point he got down on one knee and pulled a ring out of his pocket. Daniel totally surprised Meredith and the ring he had was her maternal grandmother’s who had been married for 53 years. Meredith’s aunt messaged Daniel via facebook and offered Daniel the ring after they had only been dating 8 months. The next summer Meredith visited her mom and her mom told her that her aunt had offered him the ring and Daniel accepted it. Daniel was a little upset about this breach of secrecy.
Daniel called her dad and asked for his blessing just before they left to go camping. Daniel was adamant that Meredith’s mom not know because she can’t keep a secret having told Meredith a year earlier that her aunt had given Daniel the ring. Her husband did spill the beans to his wife but Meredith’s mom kept it a secret despite calling Meredith just before they left on the camping trip.
They got married the following year on June 21–summer solstice. They chose that date because they wanted their guests to experience the midnight sun as most of them were from out of town. During the time around solstice in Alaska, the sun will set and then rise up again after only a few minutes. They rented a Bed and Breakfast in Talkeetna overlooking the Denali Mountain–the tallest mountain peak in North America. They had 40 guests and it was a joyous quintessential Alaskan three-day long party.
As a couple we have the same sense of humour and we laugh a lot. Meredith has learned that responding in the moment can do more hurt than is needed. The initial response isn’t always what she really feels. For example, when Daniel lost his wedding ring, her immediate reaction was to get angry. Instead, Meredith didn’t respond because she didn’t want to dump her feelings on him just as he was leaving for work. When he got home they were able to talk about it and she told him how sad it made her feel that he had lost his ring. Meredith looked for it and found it so in the end the problem was solved without any drama.
Not quite a year into their marriage, in January, at midnight, the roof collapsed in the cabin they were renting. The next day they had to move everything out. In two years they moved four times until finally living in a camper trailer on the front lawn of a home they built together on a piece of property they had purchased earlier. No longer in a dry cabin, they were each allowed one splurge item–Daniel’s was the oven and Meredith’s was a bathtub. Building a home by yourself is both exciting and stressful and their ability to step back and not react and also just allow space for the other person to be who they are, were critical skills to keeping their relationship on track.
They joke that if they ever ran into the guy that brought Meredith to Alaska, Daniel would shake his hand and say “thank you.”